Day 4: Back in work

Cold morning, warm bed, the phone gives off a whiring alarm, it's a horrid alarm, i've grown to hate it over the year or so i've had it, usually because it wakes me up and sharply introduces me to a foul foul headache then reminds me i've got to be in work in 8 minutes. Today felt different though, today felt as if it was waking me up gently, casually reminding me that I have work today but the day will go quick and you may even enjoy it! A cigarette is always needed on the way to work but not today, I want to, so so badly but i know I can't. Work starts, no major annoyance, no cravings until my break at 3, but instead of rushing down for a fag. I continued to work, while everyone else left, just keeping my mind focused on the job, getting things done. Me and Joe headed to play snooker right after work and no cans involved this time either, i always have a beer after work though, I do nearly every working day, i'm not talking drunk, i'm talking 3 or 4 cans. Today was different, i'm home now obviously and it feels like I should have had a beer, there's beer all around this house, there's vodka and mixer, whatever i fancy, i've just worked a 14 hour day, ive got 2 more 14 hour days coming up but maybe let's try doing these without a hangover, seeing if i'm more or less stressed at the end of it all and let's see how much energy I have.
Now i'm waiting for a takeaway quite content but apprehensive about the next few days, so quickly my attitude to life can change and i'll just scrap this off and have a wild night out and continue on the same path, if not worse, it's happened before, it can happen again. My brother gave me 5 days apparently (cheers joe!) and tommorows that day and i reckon it's going to be a difficult one.

But i've attempted this twice in the last 5 years and one day has always got me, the 11th day. The fact that i've made such a point about it and can remember the last times i gave up and how long for only makes me more determined to see this through. More tommorow, my mind wasn't with it tonight, i need some sleep.