Day 5: Out of sync

I never started this in anyway to be self righteous, I did it purely for myself and just to see what it was like but i'm pleased to say i've got a few followers, not on the blog but in real life who are joining me this January and giving the booze a rest I say fair play and if this blog has helped then great but it was never for that intention, got quite a few readers now so i think it's really going well!
Did I have an alternate motive when I created this blog? Partly, unintentionally though, I don't want to get into details though, I know them, they're not important, it's not important. Today I woke up and never made the weights, i barely made the shower in time for work after a late night of takeaway, i was in a funny mood last night, tired from work really but i'm even worse today if im honest, I feel completely out of sync, like I just cannot concentrate and it's been like this all afternoon. I've got to be truthful in this blog or there is just no point in writing it, otherwise i'm just writing a story, the other reason I think i'm out of sync is the last of the illegal substances are leaving my body, I took drugs on new years eve and i think they're now leaving my system, bringing me down, telling me to take more. This is kind of the reason I stopped drinking aswell, it's a lifestyle I don't want to be associated with anymore, it's nothing my mind wants, honestly I don't think it's something my mind can handle. The time is now midnight and all I want to do is go to sleep, i'm going to after this.

Today on my break me and a friend Eugene headed to the bookmakers after talking to each other about it we both semi convinced each other, it really didnt take alot i must admit. It was just 2 £1 accumulators but I just hope this isn't what i'm trying to replace everything else with and I doubt it, i've always had a gamble and usually it's came after a few beers. Snooker seems to be the thing i'm replacing it with! I've been to the snooker hall 3 times in 3 days!
I've come to realise over the last couple of days aswell though that i'm the same person when i'm drunk as when i'm not. I still make mistakes, I'm somewhat emotional, i'm somewhat awkward but more importantly i'd like to think i'm some fun. The booze was just giving me an excuse to be all these things but you know, that's who I am and i wont change, i'm gonna make mistakes but the difference is i don't learn from them when i'm drinking.