Day 21: On the road again

The weekend was fun, had a friend come down. Turns out though I did have a drink. Had a few pints saturday night and a couple whilst watching the derby BUT I didnt get completely leathered, though i did feel it, still fresh the next day though. For this i apoligise but I havnt drank since then and now i'm going to make it to the end of the month, even with my new found wealth hah.

im carryin' on

So it's been a strange feeling because I didn't achieve my goal, quite far from it, but in the pub today i was back on the cokes, my worst enemy. Same price, headache regained. Still, the good thing is i want to keep this up. Not entirely quit no no, but in Febuary try and introduce some sort of social drinking. Before Christmas I was binge drinking, 4 or 5 times a week, around 2 days a week i'd get destroyed and to be honest was starting to forget what it was like to wake up WITHOUT  a hangover. I feel quite different this month, the times i've drank it's fealt like more of an occasion rather than a neccesity as it did before and i'd like to continue this feeling but still I havnt enjoyed the drinks i've had because it has always fealt like cheating. I havnt replaced the booze with anything, except snooker i guess hah. I've had some pretty bad moods, i've really reflected on some stuff and i've been alot better in work but socially, I havn't been around and when you're tryin' to meet new people i'm finding it difficult to come up with ideas apart from let's go for a drink. anyway, 9-10 days left now or something like that, actually typing it out though it seems daunting. 10 days..

I'm smoking around 3-4 cigarettes a day at the moment but I don't want them to creep back in so tommorow i'm not going to buy a pack, i've got a couple of half days in work coming up so I should be able to manage.

My outlook on life hasn't changed so much but i've got an feeling I should enjoy life more, i'm not sure if it's the sobriety talking or it's just another one of my ideas but I find myself filled with ambition. There's things i'd like to achieve I don't just want to move to London and continue down the same path as before of hangovers and half hearted efforts.

I can't wait for the 1st of Febuary though, I will be getting, extremely drunk I should imagine.