Day 2: Think i'll just...

Radio, TV, then Football manager, the constant rotation keeping my mind active as i spend yet another day indoors but i've found my debit card now so hopefully tommorow i'll make it out of the house and test myself against the real world.
I'm trying to be as brutally honest about this as I can, I believe I have some level of alcohol dependancy as I believe many people my age do. What is the difference between "Going out and partying when you're young" and being a young alcoholic? As under 25s do we believe that once in full adult life, like our mothers and farthers it will all sort itself out and you'll calm down, i'm starting to believe now that age is just a number and it's actions that we take today in life rather than tommorow that can really change our path.
Every so often today i'd place my hand to my side or look at the bench next to me to look for my cigarettes only to realise that for some reason i'd decided to give up. It's been 24 hours since my last cigarette and 39 since my last drink. I've spent £16 on a pizza instead of £30 on pizza and beer and cigarettes. I dont feel bored but then again it's only been 2 days, i came in from the kitchen earlier, and awkward moment with an estonian girl in the kitchen meant i left without my cup of water, i came into see the cider on the floor, still with a screw cap firmly locked on.

Fuck I am thirsty i thought, my brain actually tried to get me to drink, i thought i'd wait though until the estonian girl left the kitchen and get myself some water and get hydrated.
I don't know whether to leave the left over booze from new years eve in my room as a constant reminder or test to myself or infact to pour it out the window in some kind of over blown, cheesey American TV drama ceremony. You know, sun setting, liberation music. I'm going to take the peter barlow approach, orange juice in the pub, sunken eyes, broken dream.