Day 21: On the road again

The weekend was fun, had a friend come down. Turns out though I did have a drink. Had a few pints saturday night and a couple whilst watching the derby BUT I didnt get completely leathered, though i did feel it, still fresh the next day though. For this i apoligise but I havnt drank since then and now i'm going to make it to the end of the month, even with my new found wealth hah.

im carryin' on

So it's been a strange feeling because I didn't achieve my goal, quite far from it, but in the pub today i was back on the cokes, my worst enemy. Same price, headache regained. Still, the good thing is i want to keep this up. Not entirely quit no no, but in Febuary try and introduce some sort of social drinking. Before Christmas I was binge drinking, 4 or 5 times a week, around 2 days a week i'd get destroyed and to be honest was starting to forget what it was like to wake up WITHOUT  a hangover. I feel quite different this month, the times i've drank it's fealt like more of an occasion rather than a neccesity as it did before and i'd like to continue this feeling but still I havnt enjoyed the drinks i've had because it has always fealt like cheating. I havnt replaced the booze with anything, except snooker i guess hah. I've had some pretty bad moods, i've really reflected on some stuff and i've been alot better in work but socially, I havn't been around and when you're tryin' to meet new people i'm finding it difficult to come up with ideas apart from let's go for a drink. anyway, 9-10 days left now or something like that, actually typing it out though it seems daunting. 10 days..

I'm smoking around 3-4 cigarettes a day at the moment but I don't want them to creep back in so tommorow i'm not going to buy a pack, i've got a couple of half days in work coming up so I should be able to manage.

My outlook on life hasn't changed so much but i've got an feeling I should enjoy life more, i'm not sure if it's the sobriety talking or it's just another one of my ideas but I find myself filled with ambition. There's things i'd like to achieve I don't just want to move to London and continue down the same path as before of hangovers and half hearted efforts.

I can't wait for the 1st of Febuary though, I will be getting, extremely drunk I should imagine.

Day 14: Slowly lowering

The bank balance is becoming dangerously low, it's my last chance over the next few days to buy a drink before it finally runs out... Think I can hold on for a few days, got a friend coming down this weekend! Should be fun, we're both not drinkin' so it's excellent the only thing i'd say though is it's the Derby on Sunday! I might have a pint, a might indeed, I've never not had a pint during the derby i'm sorry I just don't think i can go into a pub to watch the football and not have a beer, so i'm 50/50 at the moment.

Thursday was fun, party never happened I was out of work too late so i met my friend dave and his friend Alex and we headed down Camden high st. bar after bar, staying sober the whole way. Got a gang of people back to the house in the end about 4am but I only really wanted one to come back and when everyones just in a room and you're not drunk it's pretty boring, and they're pretty annoying, and you kinda just wanna go bed :-P.

Nothing happened anyway. So yeah, gonna be skint soon so drinkin just can't happen, i'm tired to be honest, i've had 1 day off in nearly 2 weeks, Sunday and Monday will be a welcome break if im honest.

Day 12: up, work, sleep

That's pretty much all you need to know, I got up, I went to work, I went home, fell asleep in front of antiques roadshow. Literally to tired to write a post. Still catchin up after Billingsgate market.

Party tonight though! Goin' sober... hmmm... should be interesting. Not in till 6 friday though so should be interesting! x

Day 11: Canary fucking shitting wharf.

Ever got on the tube with two bin bags full of fish at 8am? You quickly become the antichrist.

I didn't sleep and went straight billingsgate at 4am, had a couple of cigs in the cold and rain, head banging, gettin buses and taxis across London trying to find this thing. It was awesome when we got there though, got some great ideas and inspiration.

I think i'm tired or somethin'

Then for some reason I went straight to work at 9 and i've just got back at midnight, after being awake for 31 hours, the last thing on your mind is beer, The only thing I wanna do is eat these pizzas and watch american pie in peace :) xx

Day 10: Acheived FA

Today has consisted of one walk to the shop, and the rest of the time in my pjamas in bed or watching police camera action in the front room. Tommorow morning we are heading to billingsgate fish market at 4AM! 4AM WHYYYYY!!

Because that's when the fish arrive.

Gonna get my head down, attempt to be fresh for tommorow. I wrote my CV out it took me 2h20 mins and it really aint that good. ahhh beefys tired and needs his rest.

Day 9: Roll up.. Roll up...

A short and easy day at work meant energy levels where good and when me and joe where asked to go to a blues bar in Soho with Ritch and friends we agreed. We got to this bar about 7, real awesome live blues bands on, packed full of people, everyone drinking, having fun. I go to the bar, "1 kronenbourg and 1... have you got any alcohol free beer?" I said, she was spanish, thought i was askin for free beer or something. In the end we both settled on ginger beer. We sat, we listened, everyone chatted and after about everyones 3rd pint i finally caved and asked joe for a rolly, it's a good way to meet girls I guess and we did but nothing materialised obviously. Well it gets to 11 and i've had a couple of rollys, Joe's getting pretty slaughtered, i've had about 6 of these fuckin' ginger beers and i've got a headache, you can't drink that much soft drink it's fucked.

About midnight we headed home to Camden empty handed, It's a long journey home with Joe insisting he's got cash in his bank, it proves to be wishful thinking and I buy him a kebab. We get back to the place and i've gone quiet by this point. I'm in my room and a couple of guys come to say hi they've got beers and are all pretty much drinking. I couldn't resist any longer, I had a couple of cups of cider and a can of beer, I didn't get drunk but that wasn't the point, most dissapointed in myself for not just retiring to bed but after the last 6 days being spent in work... well no there's no excuse. I said often it's the eleventh day that gets me well this time it's the tenth... But this time i'm not goin' to go back like the other times, i'm going to view this as a minor blip, it may have been a late night but I wasn't legless, I barely fealt the alcohol. I'm going to try not to let it happen again but honestly I don't think I can do nights out without having a little something to drink...

I've got a party on Thursday night, usually the time i'd get really wrecked but i'm going to turn up empty handed (sound like a cool guy huh) and see how it goes.

The whole of January? I can't believe I didn't make it, there's still the constelation prize of not getting drunk for January or not drinking for the rest of it. I'm going to carry on the experiment best I can.

The enemy!

Day 8: Ignore and Home.

Out of work and into the streets of Camden on a saturday night. The guys all had beers after work but I settled for just watching whilst they rolled their cigarettes and opened cold cans. Many plans had been made but nothing materialised and once again i found myself walking home with Joe. We walked to a local takeaway just to pass some time before the inevetable bed and squandered money on what can only be described as school dinners.
Walking round Camden at 1am is a strange experience sober, you notice so much more. I counted atleast 4 girls crying in the space of two blocks, 3 fights, 3 police cars and 4 ambulances in about 20 minutes but still yearned to be part of the crowd that surrounded me, packed into room of sticky floors and rolling eyes, a testament to the endurance of youth but no, not for me. I saw the crowded pubs, the stumbling hordes, the gruesome kisses and raised voices and thought to myself i'm better off walking home, there's no way I can play catch up with these, they're too far gone.

Home now, into bed, got a 10 am start tommorow then Sunday night and all of Monday off. My frist in a week, a usual 'get pissed' situation. What do I do on my fucking nights off? It's going to be seriously dull.

On a brighter note though, my exercise is going swell! Bags of energy, nothing to use it on.